The casualties of a lifestyle change

When we began this journey back in May; Laura and I knew there was going to be some loss. We knew that we would have to stop eating the “good food” and start eating “good for you food”. We expected to stop seeing servers at the restaurants, or the drive-thru window attendants at the local McDonalds. We fully expected to lose our minds. After all we had been living unhealthy for many years. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy. What we didn’t know? What we didn’t expect; the feelings that would come along with those losses and the fall-out because of our lifestyle change. It’s not like losing a football game and being able to go back and dissect film to see what went wrong and correct those things to prepare for the next game. This is life. This is permanent stuff, you don’t get a mulligan.
We weren’t prepared for the feelings that rush into our minds when we drive in to Portland or Salem. The feeling of instantly being hungry and therefore trying to find a place to stop and eat, even though we just had breakfast and hour prior. Those feelings of comfort that flood the brain when you step foot into your parents house and you instantly relate all those feelings to the food mom used to make. The thoughts of, “hey look the news is on, it must be dinner time”. We realized that most of these feelings or thoughts were merely habits that had to be broken. We had taught ourselves to eat out every time we went somewhere. We realized that just stepping out of the comfort and protection of our home was risky; like going grocery shopping. Laura has to take a list of exactly what we need and we both have to help each other stick to the list. If either one of us goes alone, it’s almost a guarantee we will come home with something we don’t need. At home, we know the junk isn’t there, there isn’t food that we could try to convince ourselves “it’s just a bite”, or, “I can work that bite off, I’ll have 2 or 3 more”. We realized this is our journey, and we could not expect others to adhere to our strict diets. It is way more difficult to stop yourself from taking a cookie at mom’s house than you realize, or trying to eat dinner away from home.
What it truly boils down to is one thing; we had to stop being selfless and start being selfish. It had to become all about ourselves. For the past 20 years I personally would have done anything for everyone else, or anyone that asked, and had done nothing for myself. Yeah I accomplished a few major things along that way but did I really do them for myself? And even in the early days of this summer I was doing things for others and not for myself. I was consumed with trying to make challenges work so others could be involved, but the real reason was to help myself, not others. Now having said all this, I realize that I can still be helpful to others. I can still be there to help when someone needs it. I can still balance life, but it’s in a new way. And with everything new, it takes adjustments. So to those that maybe have been feeling left out, or feeling like we have abandon them, hold strong. We are still here, just getting smaller, smarter, and a little more selfish. But you have to ask yourself, are the results worth it? HECK YES they are.